Before you take that left turn down Divorce Lane, it’s important to make the formal decision to end your marriage. Why? When you react, rather than decide, you end up with regrets.
You end up wishing you had done some things differently. You have less consciousness about what you are doing, and it will come back to bite you!
Let’s take a look at some things that go into making a conscious decision to divorce:
Don’t make the decision in the aftermath of a big blowout. Words that are spoken in the heat of the moment can:
- Never be taken back. Screaming, “I want a divorce” will destroy trust and respect if you don’t really mean it. Plus, let’s face it, screaming anything is never good!
- Be taken as not heartfelt and thus be dismissed. You don’t want to be the boy (or girl) who cried wolf!
- Make you feel reactive and powerless rather than in control of yourself and empowered.
Do consider the consequences of your decision. The ripple effect of divorce is HUGE! It will impact not only you and your spouse but also any kids you have, your family, his family, your friends, your finances, your living situation, your faith, your possessions, your pets, etc.
- Will you miss your in-laws?
- How will you feel when some of your friends choose your spouse over you?
- What will it be like to be single? Dating?
- Are you prepared for some loneliness?
- If you have kids, have you thought about what it means to be a single parent? Or have limited/restricted access to your children?
Excerpt from DIVORCE is a PUSH UP: Get Strong to Get Through. ©2016 Laura Aiello
Author Laura Aiello is a divorce strategist and coach for people who are facing the drastic life change of ending a relationship and want to do it in a holistic, growth-oriented way. As an author and speaker, as well as coach, she believes in educating people on the decision making process, the “job” of divorce and, most importantly, how the challenges presented can be used to create a fuller, more realized life. As founder of The Divorce Strategist, Laura pulls on all your strengths, as well as turning your perceived “failures” into valuable lessons. This practical, solution based formula is the basis of her coaching practice today.
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