Even as early as 12 months of age, a child can be observed by researchers to have a “secure attachment” with his or her parent(s) or an “insecure attachment.”

There have been some studies which suggest that this can be a contributing “risk factor” for developing a personality disorder  including the behavior we see in child alienation cases.

There are many important lessons a child must learn in their early childhood attachment relationship(s) that a child is not born knowing (many people don’t realize this):

  • A sense of security that her/his basic needs will be met
  • Confidence that problems can be solved one way or another
  • Awareness of what s/he is feeling inside
  • Awareness of other people’s feelings
  • Learning to “read” other people’s moods Learning to “read” other people’s intentions
  • Learning that s/he can manage her/his own emotions
  • Learning that s/he can manage her/his own behavior
  • Learning that s/he can be flexible in new situations
  • Learning that s/he and others can be different and still be okay
  • Learning that s/he can influence others and be influenced by others
  • Learning that s/he can reflect on her thoughts, feelings, behavior
  • Learning that s/he can change her thoughts, feelings, behavior
  • Learning that people have a combination of good and bad qualities

Excerpt from Don’t Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce. By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Published by HCI Press www.hcipress.com

To read a story by Bill Eddy on creating hope in your child, click on this great coParenting story: http://kidsbeforeconflict.com/top-tips-to-create-hope-in-your-child/. Or go to our home page for more stories. KidsBeforeConflict.com – on coParenting.