When coParents do not work together, it impacts the child at home and school. More the reason to cooperate with each other!

Vicki, a schoolteacher who instructs grades one through three, shared her professional perspective. This article discusses what she sees at school, when she has a child of divorce who’s coParents do not work together.

The kids who are successful in school, she notes, are “secure, confident and willing to take risks.”

When coParents do not attend parent/teacher conferences together, Vicki said, “It is obvious that they are putting themselves above the child. When they are putting themselves above the child in front of the teacher, it is evident it is occurring at home as well.”

There is a downside for the teacher as well, when two coParents do not join together to attend one parent/teacher conference. The teacher must hold two separate conferences, which compromises the teacher’s time. He or she must create two separate meetings, discuss lesson plans in length twice and many times listening to one coParent complain about the other. Two coParents not working together also make special requests, not asked from other parents.

When the coParents do not work together for their student’s well being and attend parent/teacher conferences together, the child knows this. He or she usually exhibits the following at school. He or she is:

  1. More needy
  2. Less confident in themselves and what they can achieve. Their security has become compromised out of school, so their security becomes compromised in school.
  3. Less willing to take risks

The whole relationship between school and home is very important. If coParents get along for the sake of the child and put their kids first at the time of divorce and afterwards, it is evident. The teacher witnesses a child’s well being at school.

Why make it harder for the child by not working together?